Tuesday, July 04, 2006

July 4th

Nothing important happened today.

Wednesday, March 08, 2006

Short List of Things I should never have to do

1. Issue a public formal apology to a foreign country.
2. Lie to Congress.

Friday, February 10, 2006

Orange's Metrics that Matter

I was wondering when us here in the United States (and any other antiquated ass-backwards country) will finally join the rest of the world a switch to the metric system. I remember spending agonizing hours all through school in math/science classes, because of US weights and measures. Weeks every semester was spent memorizing crazy formulas to translate feet into meters, cubic inches to cubic centimeters and so on. It was the worst part of math and science. I might have become a biochemist if it weren't for the extra work that went into it. Can we just catch up? It might improve foreign relations with the rest of the world if anyone in the US had the faintest clue what 55 kilograms looked like.

We would have to let go of a few measurements, some of which are very dear to my heart, but I think ground we gain in the math and science areas would make it all worth it. I will truly miss:

12 ounces


10ft tall and bullet proof

The Green Mile

This will be hard to let go, but I think a lot of fun stuff already comes measured in metric units.

A Kilogram of Columbia's best (I don't mean the university)

750 milliliters wine

0.5 Milligrams of Xanax

and many more!

Wouldn't a liter of beer be better than twelve ounces?

Write your congressmen or grade school teacher and request the metric system for you and your family.

I am not sure how many decimeters my penis is, but I am sure it's a lot. Happy measuring!

Saturday, February 04, 2006



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